


By Candlelight

by rhododaktylos_yue



Series: Confessions in Different Lights [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, Planned Pregnancy, Trans Zuko (Avatar), trans author, who is all for the normalization of trans people and trans bodies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:28:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26022661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhododaktylos_yue/pseuds/rhododaktylos_yue
Summary: The conversations that Zuko and Sokka have about having children, up to the birth of Izumi.Begins seven years after the war ends.
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Series: Confessions in Different Lights [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1888804
Comments: 31
Kudos: 513





	By Candlelight

The concern was first raised by a well-meaning advisor only a few days after Zuko and Sokka made their intention to marry public: the country would accept nothing less than a biological child of Zuko (or Azula, for that matter) as the heir to Zuko’s throne as Firelord; there had to be a genetic line back to Azulon and Sozin and so on.

The advisor - clearly attempting to be respectful of such an unconventional relationship - assumed that Zuko’s relationship with Sokka could not produce such a child. Zuko pursed his lips and said nothing.

At least, not until he and Sokka were getting ready for bed two weeks later.

The candles in his chambers cast a dim light across the various reds that decorated the room, making them warmer. More orange.

Sokka was reading in their bed, a pair of wire-rimmed glasses perched on his nose as his bright blue eyes lingered over a letter from Aang and Katara, who had written from the Southern Water Tribe.

Zuko watched his boyfriend in the mirror as he removed his golden hairpiece and brushed his long, black hair.

“Two new babies were born last week,” Sokka said. “And Kalea - Sayaka and Takkam’s daughter, remember, that toddler who liked to climb all over you? - she’s a waterbender, apparently. Katara’s really excited about it.”

“They’re working hard to repopulate the Southern Water Tribe.” Zuko felt a twinge of guilt for his part in terrorizing Sokka’s people, but he had done his best to make up for it in the years since, with frequent visits to the south. By now, Sokka’s description of Kalea could’ve applied to any of the children there, who were all enamored of Zuko’s natural warmth as a firebender and would cuddle him at any opportunity, but Zuko remembered exactly which little girl Sokka meant. He tried to remember the names of all the children, especially, and strived to ensure that they would  _ never  _ have the same fear of the Fire Nation as their parents. As Sokka and Katara had once had.

Sokka snorted as he set the letter on the bedside table. “I’m half-expecting a letter from dad that says ‘oh by the way I remarried and my new wife is pregnant’ any day now.”

From the way Hakoda looked at Bato, that seemed unlikely, but Zuko bit his tongue. He wanted to push the conversation in a different direction.

“Or maybe Katara and Aang are going to have a little baby waterbender,” Sokka continued.

“Or an airbender,” Zuko said. Aang would like that. Zuko tried to ask his next question as casually as possible. “Would you ever want to start a family?”

Sokka didn’t even look up. “I have a family.”

“I know,” Zuko said. Hakoda and Katara, and Aang and Toph, too. Each other. “What about kids, though?”

Sokka did look up, now, and their eyes met in the mirror. “As in, our kids?”

Zuko nodded. His heart hammered in his chest.

“We could adopt a whole bunch of kids.” Sokka was grinning as he climbed across the bed towards Zuko. “Half a dozen children running around the palace! You’re so good with kids, they love you so much.”

Zuko saw his own shy smile in the mirror out of the corner of his eye. He didn’t mention that the Southern Water Tribe kids probably only loved him because he was warm and their entire homeland was made of ice. It was enough that they loved him.

“Or maybe just a few, but we spoil them  _ so  _ much it’s ridiculous.”

Zuko stood, and Sokka instinctively reached for him, pulling him in for a gentle kiss the moment he was within reach. Sokka’s kiss started eager, and then he relaxed into it with a hum, and the kiss became slow and soft movement against each other.

“I love you,” Zuko said, because it was always true and because he felt it so strongly then.

“I love you too,” Sokka said, smiling into their next kiss.

“How would you feel about having kids with me?”

Zuko couldn’t breathe as he waited for Sokka to answer.

“Oh.” Sokka’s breath was warm against Zuko’s damp lips. He pressed his forehead against Zuko’s. “Are you sure?”

Zuko nodded, and even though Sokka could feel it, Zuko wanted to say it out loud, to be sure he understood. “Yes. I want to have a kid with you.”

“And you’d be willing to, you know-”

Zuko rolled his eyes. “It’s called pregnancy, Sokka.”

“I don’t want to trigger your dysphoria or anything!” Sokka said defensively.

“Pretty sure the actual pregnancy will trigger worse dysphoria than the word.” Sokka looked like he wanted to say something, but Zuko glared. He softened quickly; he couldn’t be annoyed with Sokka for long. “I’ll be okay, and then we’ll have a kid. That we can raise, together.”

“You’ll show them how to feed the turtleducks in the pond,” Sokka said.

“And you can show them how to go penguin sledding and ice dodging,” Zuko said. He wanted their kid to know both sides of their heritage, in the same way that he noticed and supported Sokka quietly but firmly insisting on keeping his connection with his own tribe, with regular visits and frequent communications. Zuko himself had gone ice dodging, during their last visit, to prove himself a man in Water Tribe terms before asking Hakoda if it was okay to marry his son.

Sokka kissed Zuko again, more passionately this time, mouth open and tongues brushing, pulling Zuko up onto the bed.

Zuko’s hands fumbled with Sokka’s shirt, and they separated for a moment so that Zuko could tug it off. When they came back together Sokka started on a trail of kisses down the column of Zuko’s neck, sliding the shoulder of Zuko’s shirt off.

“Uh, not right now, though,” Zuko said, and Sokka stopped kissing his collarbone.

“Oh, if you’re not really in the mood, we can just go to bed,” Sokka said, his nose brushing Zuko’s cheek to clarify that there would be no affection lost between them if Zuko set this boundary.

Except that wasn’t the boundary Zuko had been trying to set. He did want to have sex, but. “I meant I don’t really want to make a baby  _ right now _ .”

“Oh! Yeah, okay,” Sokka agreed. He kissed Zuko, briefly, as if he couldn’t stop himself. “But someday?”

“Someday,” Zuko promised.

After that, they dropped the conversation for the night, and all other conversations, too, devolving into grunts and moans and bitten-off curses panted into pillows.

The subject of children didn’t come up again for a while, although whenever someone else reminded Firelord Zuko about the ‘heir problem’ Zuko would look to Sokka and give him a small smile. He knew that the actual pregnancy would be rough - he was not looking forward to it - but at the end of it, they’d have their own child.

Meanwhile, the actual wedding was approaching, and there were a thousand things to plan. Every dignitary from every nation wanted an invitation, and Water Tribe elders argued with Zuko’s Fire Nation advisors about how to combine their distinct traditions. Everyone knew that this marriage symbolized the kinds of peaceful bonds the Fire Nation hoped to establish with the rest of the world, and every decision, from the location of the ceremony to the flower arrangements, was weighed accordingly.

Sokka and Zuko didn’t really  _ care _ , as long as they were allowed to get married.

Or, actually, there was one part of it that Sokka cared a lot about.

“I know it’s not... and you don’t have to wear it,” Sokka said, as they both stared down at the blue ribbon in his palm and the strange, unidentifiable shape carved into the white bone pendant. “But...”

“It’s important to you,” Zuko said softly. Which meant it was important to him, too. “Of course I’ll wear it.”

Zuko turned around, sweeping his black hair up off his neck in a twisting motion, and somehow Sokka hanging the pendant from his throat felt as intimate as anything they’d ever done. Zuko tried to remember every detail: the lapping of the water in the turtleduck pond, the faint smell of fire lilies, Sokka’s warm breath on his neck, their skin brushing. Everything felt still and perfect.

When the pendant settled in the hollow of his throat, Zuko let his hair fall again and turned around. “How does it look?”

“Perfect,” Sokka breathed.

“I, uh, I made one for you, too,” Zuko said. He hadn’t planned on handing it over now, but it felt like the right moment for it, and he was more impulsive than Sokka anyway.

He tugged the red silk ribbon from his pocket. In the bone he’d carved a delicate circle of waves transforming into flame, with Hakoda and Bato’s help.

Sokka exhaled a soft  _ oh _ , and he touched the pendant gently, his eyes fixed upon it.

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Zuko said.

Sokka’s gaze snapped up to meet his before skipping over to the pond. “It’s just...”

“Yeah?”

“All we have left of my mom is her necklace, and if something ever happened to you, I’d... I think I’d be glad to have this.”

It had been difficult to get Sokka to admit that he was scared of the people he loved dying, and while they had made  _ some  _ progress, it was still rough on him, when they had to be apart and Sokka couldn’t climb into his bed at the end of every day and check that Zuko was still breathing. Things got worse whenever there was another unsuccessful assassination attempt. So far, they had managed to make accommodations for the fear - Zuko wrote a letter to Sokka every night to send to him if they were apart, to prove he’d survived one more day, and Katara, Hakoda, Toph, Aang, and Suki wrote often, too - but they hadn’t been able to get rid of the fear entirely.

“I know nothing’s gonna happen,” Sokka said. He stepped closer to Zuko, linking their hands together, the red ribbon folded between their fingers, kissing Zuko’s cheekbone.

“It’s okay to be afraid of losing someone you love,” Zuko reminded him.

“But it’s okay to let down my guard, too,” Sokka finished.

“Yeah.”

“We’re safe.” Sokka took a deep breath.

“Yeah.” Zuko decided to change the subject. “I’m really glad you gave this necklace to me. I like the idea of getting to wear a piece of you wherever I go.”

Sokka laughed. “That’s because you’re a romantic.”

“We really are,” Zuko said, grinning into another kiss.

“Our kid is gonna be so dramatic,” Sokka sighed.

“But smart,” Zuko reminded him. Especially if they took after Sokka.

“And pretty.”

“We are very pretty,” Zuko agreed.

That was the last moment they got alone until after the wedding. The rest was a whirlwind of arriving family - Toph punched both their arms, and Iroh played pai sho with Sokka and talked with him about... something, Zuko wasn’t allowed to know - and then on to the ceremony itself.

The wedding was far bigger and less private than either of them would have wanted, but at least they were married. At least all their friends were there with them, teasing them at the reception like old times.

As they tumbled into bed together that night, lightheaded from laughter, Zuko studied Sokka’s face in the candlelight.

“I didn’t know it was possible to be this happy,” Zuko whispered, a confession in the warm night air.

Sokka’s ankle brushed his. “I know what you mean.”

Zuko closed his eyes and savored the sensation of Sokka caressing his cheek.

“It’s like…” Sokka said. “Okay, growing up I never really got a chance to paint or anything, you know? Not a lot of spare ink or paint in the middle of a bunch of ice and snow, during wartime. So I’m not good at it.”

Zuko loved Sokka’s paintings, although Sokka was right, they weren’t good. But they were always  _ Sokka _ ’s. Even if Zuko teased him, sometimes. Most of the time.

“But it’s not about that. It’s about the fact that  _ making something _ feels good. It feels important, and honest, and satisfying.” The orange firelight made Sokka’s blue eyes a muddy hazel hue, like a paradox of a color that shouldn’t exist, that only Zuko got to see, because it only existed here. “It feels like we made something today.”

Zuko was starting to understand what he meant. “We built this happiness for ourselves, you mean.” With days dedicated to rebuilding their respective nations, together, that eventually became weeks spent together, rebuilding their nations.

“Yeah.”

“I like that.”

Sokka scooted closer.

“Do you…” Zuko stopped himself. He was getting caught up in the moment. They weren’t ready to be dads yet.

But the idea of it felt closer than ever before, and Zuko couldn’t stop thinking about it.

He felt it in his chest as they kissed, over and over, growing more and more heated, or maybe it was in his head, the idea of making something. With Sokka.

Not yet. But. Not that far away, either.

They could, if they wanted to, whenever they wanted to. Zuko had never regretted being trans, except in his most self-loathing teenaged moments, and he knew that there were other options, even for someone who needed a biological heir, but he was glad that he could have a kid with Sokka in this way. That this was an option, too.

Maybe Sokka was thinking along the same lines, because he settled easily between Zuko’s legs, their hands fumbling at each other’s fancy robes. Usually this sort of sex caused Zuko some dysphoria, but tonight he was too happy to be upset.

“Sokka,” he gasped, as Sokka’s teeth scraped against the underside of his jaw and his hands grasped at Zuko’s waistband, and he bit back everything else he had to say, not because he didn’t trust Sokka to understand - he knew Sokka would feel the same - but because his breaths were fast, and he needed to control his breathing or he’d set something on fire. It’d be quite embarrassing to burn his new husband on their wedding night.

After, though, when they were both satisfied and worn-out, Sokka was the first to say it.

“Don’t be mad, but part of me hopes that you’re pregnant.” Sokka traced a heart shape on the bare, pale skin of Zuko’s stomach, a little below his lightning scar.

“Me too,” Zuko admitted. “I mean, I know the timing-“

“Oh, yeah,” Sokka agreed. “Terrible timing.”

What with everything that was under way in the former colonies, now an independent republic, in terms of establishing a stable government and all. Plus there was a mild drought in the northern part of the Fire Nation and after years of work Azula was finally beginning to come around-

“But maybe... I don’t know that there will ever be a perfect time, and this is something we both really want, right? Maybe we should just go for it.”

Zuko felt his anxieties dissipate like butterflies being fanned away, and a broad grin stretched across his face. Sokka was the planner and Zuko worked on impulse, but if both of them thought something was a good idea, it generally was.

Besides. This was  _ their _ choice. No one else’s opinion mattered.

\---

Zuko got his period a week later, and he hated it even more than usual.

“I’m very excited to opt out of this for nine months,” he said, as he and Sokka stripped the sheets off their bed. Technically, the maids could do it, but Zuko had never quite gotten over the self-sufficiency his exile had taught him, and Sokka had never had a maid before he began spending a lot of time at the Fire Nation palace, so if there was a particularly annoying or gross job they usually did it for themselves. Setting aside things like blood-stained sheets, for example.

“If we didn’t get a baby out of it, I would argue it’s probably not worth the tradeoff,” Sokka said. “But I don’t really know what it’s like.”

Zuko sighed. “My back hurts.”

“I’m sorry.” Sokka tossed the sheets into the laundry basket. “Is there anything I can do?”

Zuko shook his head. “I’ll be fine. It’ll be over in a few days anyway.”

Sokka kissed his forehead. “What do you think of Katara as a midwife?”

“I think that’s pretty far away.” Ten months away, at least, probably.

“I know.” But Sokka liked to plan ahead.

“I’ll think about it,” Zuko said. He trusted her more than almost anyone else in the world, just below Sokka and Uncle Iroh and about level with Aang and Toph and Suki, but it’d be a lot to ask of her when the palace doctors were perfectly capable of delivering a baby.

“I think I’d feel better, having her there to take care of you.” Sokka stepped away, a gesture meant to indicate that he wasn’t trying to push the issue. “But I’m okay with whatever makes you feel comfortable.”

\---

“Think that was the one?” Sokka asked, turning his head to look at Zuko, cheek against the pillow, as Zuko stared at the ceiling, still catching his breath. Sweat cooled on their skin.

It felt like something Zuko should  _ know _ , if there was something growing inside him, but he just couldn’t tell.

\---

It wasn’t the one.

Three months passed. Then a few more.

At the end of the year - at about the seven month mark - Sokka was beginning to get frustrated, and his annoyance soured the mood in the whole palace.

“Is this normal?” Sokka asked, flipping through a pile of scavenged scrolls scattered on the rug in their chambers. The pile contained every scroll in the palace library that had anything to do with reproduction. There were less than a dozen in total.

Once again Zuko took a moment to hate the previous few Firelords.

“I wish I could ask my mom,” Zuko said. It’d be a slightly weird conversation, but missing his mother was the default.

“We could ask my dad,” Sokka suggested. “Or your uncle.”

Zuko wrinkled his nose and flicked a scroll to set it rolling. “That sounds like a fun time.”

“I’m really looking forward to it myself,” Sokka said, voice drenched in sarcasm. “ _ ‘Hey, dad, you got a sec? I’m trying to get my husband pregnant and wanted to know if you have any advice, potentially in the vein of extremely detailed anecdotes about how you knocked up my mom with me and my sister.’ _ ”

“At least your dad’s good-looking,” Zuko said, before remembering that perhaps he should think before he speaks. Oops.

Sokka laughed. “What?!”

“I just mean that picturing Uncle having sex-“ Zuko really couldn’t finish that sentence.

“But picturing  _ my dad _ having sex-“ Sokka’s voice was getting higher.

“I didn’t say it’s a good image!” Mostly, it was weird, thinking of his father-in-law like that.

“I-“ Sokka stared off into space, his eyes unfocused. “I’m never going to want to have sex again.”

“Sokka,” Zuko whined, teasing. “I thought you wanted a  _ baby _ .”

Sokka snapped back into focus. “Oh, right. Well. I guess I can. But only because babies are incredibly cute and I do want one.”

“What do you think our baby will be like?” Zuko asked, glad for the subject change.

“I hope they have your eyes.”

“Oh.”

“What?”

Zuko shrugged before answering. “I was hoping they’d have  _ your _ eyes.”

“How about: one blue, one gold.”

“And half their hair is your hair color, and half mine?”

“What? No. That’s ridiculous.” Sokka scoffed. “How improbable is that?”

At least they were both smiling now.

And hopefully in a few more months they’d be moving on to debates about baby names.

\---

The next few months only brought more of the same.

No baby, and worse (to Sokka), no hints as to why.

\---

The next time an advisor mentioned an heir to the throne, Zuko snapped at her. “Why, exactly, do I need one? I’m perfectly healthy. I’m in perfect condition!” So why couldn’t his body do this?

He exhaled a small flame.

Nothing would be accomplished by him yelling at his advisors. “I’m going for a walk.”

\---

He wrote a letter to his uncle that night.

\---

Zuko took a deep breath, trying to let the familiar scent of ginseng calm him.

Across the table Uncle rambled about the Jasmine Dragon and its staff.

“She is a very nice young lady,” Uncle said of his employee Chau. Short with brown shoulder-length hair and a big smile, if Zuko remembered correctly from his last visit to Ba Sing Se, but it had been a while. “But I do hope she learns to slow down. She is always so busy, with her university studies and her friends. She needs a vacation.”

“Uncle,” Zuko interrupted, because as much as he supported the Jasmine Dragon’s success, if only for the joy it brought Uncle, he’d specifically set aside this time for another topic. One he’d just as soon avoid, if he didn’t bring it up before he cow-chickened out. He took a deep breath. “I need your advice.”

“Of course.” Uncle set his teacup down and poured himself some more ginseng tea. The clattering of the china mingled with the buzzing of the bees around the palace garden.

“Sokka and I are trying to have a baby.” The explanation came out in a rush. “And we’ve been trying for months and it’s not happening?” And this was a  _ terrible _ idea, Zuko couldn’t talk about this with Uncle.

“I can only advise patience, nephew,” Uncle said, sipping. Zuko sighed. “I know it is not what you want to hear.”

“I just…” Zuko looked away, towards the turtleduck pond. The turtleducks were nowhere to be seen, though; they had places to hide and nap and it would be selfish to bother them. “I think I’m ready to be a dad.”

“You will be a wonderful father.” Uncle put his hand over Zuko’s. “You have such a big heart, Zuko, and you love so fiercely.”

Zuko felt a prickling in the corner of his eyes. He blinked.

“And I won’t be…” Like his own dad. Cruel and awful and a threat to his own children instead of their protector. A specter to undermine them, even years after he was thrown in prison. Azula was only now recovering and becoming her own person.

“You and Sokka are going to raise a child who knows that they are loved. That is the most important thing; the rest is trial and error,” Uncle said. “And patience! Lots of patience.”

“If I am a good father…” Zuko hesitated, but Uncle was never afraid to say nice things to him. Zuko should return the gesture. “It’ll be because I learned from you.”

Uncle blinked, eyes wide, a pink blush coloring his cheeks. “You’re going to make an old man cry.”

“I mean it,” Zuko insisted.

“I know.” Uncle patted his hand.

Zuko was always glad to see Uncle, and was especially grateful for this conversation, but he still hadn’t learned anything useful about having children.

He hoped his trip with Sokka to the Southern Water Tribe in a few weeks would be more helpful.

\---

Sokka groaned as he stumbled in from the freezing cold into the room he and Zuko shared, shrugging off his blue fur-lined jacket. He sat on the edge of their bed to tug off his boots, which he let fall to the rug. Zuko sat up.

“How’d it go?” Zuko asked.

Sokka groaned again and curled up on top of the bedclothes, head in Zuko’s lap. “That is the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever been through.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“Well, top ten. Probably.”

Zuko poked Sokka’s cheek. “What happened?”

The response was murmured into the comforter.

“I can’t hear you,” Zuko gently chided.

Sokka turned his face slightly. A rosy blush painted his cheeks and the tops of his ears. “Apparently my dad didn’t realize you’re trans?”

Zuko still felt a little spike of euphoria every time that he realized that someone had never had the thought that he was anything other than a man.

“So I told him we’re having trouble getting pregnant and he got weird about it, and it took me a while to get that he thought we were having trouble because, you know, you’re a guy and I’m a guy…”

“Oh.” Zuko didn’t know what else to say.

Sokka whined. “He kept making  _ hand motions  _ to explain it to me. And then he apologized for not telling me how babies are made, but he kinda forgot he hadn’t told us when we saw him again, what with the war and all, and then he asked if I thought Katara knew and I had to tell him that Katara was the one who told me because Gran Gran told  _ her _ .”

“And she and Aang are married,” Zuko added. “So...”

“NO!” Sokka sat up suddenly, pointing an admonishing finger at Zuko. “Stop that right now.”

Zuko bit his lip and tried not to laugh.

“My evening has been awful enough,” Sokka insisted.

“Okay, but did your dad say anything  _ useful _ ?”

“Once he realized that yes, I do know the basics of baby-making, he did give a bit of advice.”

Zuko was immediately paying far more attention.

“Mostly he said to eat healthy,” Sokka said. “He suggested seaweed, but I think that’s just because it’s kinda the only vegetable we have here? So vegetables, I guess? Oh, and no tea.”

Zuko huffed. “Fine. No tea. Anything else?”

“Uh, no alcohol? And don’t exercise so much.”

Zuko lay back and closed his eyes. After a moment, he asked, a weight planting itself in his chest, “What if it’s us?”

“What do you mean?” Sokka asked, and Zuko felt the bed shift as Sokka settled in next to him, arm slung over Zuko’s hips.

“What if we’re just not meant to be together?”

“No,” Sokka said immediately. “No way.”

Zuko turned his head to look at him, searching his husband’s clear blue eyes. “How can you be so sure?”

“Because I don’t care. About destiny, or any of it.” Sokka brushed black bangs away from his forehead. “We are two of the most determined people in the world, and we’re happy together, so we will find a way to make this work.”

Zuko squeezed his eyes shut again.

“I know that this is hard, but we’ll get through it, okay?”

“I don’t really want to try tonight,” Zuko whispered. “It’s just, it’s hard with the dysphoria and I know you see me as a man but-”

Sokka kissed his forehead. “Okay.”

“Thank you.” Partially to confirm that he wasn’t giving up, Zuko added, “Tomorrow night.”

After a moment, Sokka stood up to finish stripping off the rest of his clothes, and Zuko pulled the comforter up over himself. Sokka let his warrior’s wolftail fall around his face and climbed in next to him.

Zuko needed comfort, though, and there was no one but Sokka who he wanted to turn to for that, so he put his arms around him and pulled his husband close.

\---

Toph was the first to know.

She came to visit the Fire Nation a month or so after they returned from the Southern Water Tribe, and Sokka and Zuko greeted her at the gates, as they always did. 

The trio diverged from tradition when Toph punched Sokka’s arm but not Zuko’s. Zuko briefly assumed that she must be mad at him for some reason.

“Sparky,” she said, her tone betraying nothing as she grabbed his arm and dragged him away from the flock of servants and dignitaries that always greeted important visitors to the palace. Sokka jogged to keep pace with them.

How could Zuko have annoyed her already? She’d just arrived.

The moment that Toph found an empty room, though, one of many superfluous sitting rooms, she shoved Zuko inside. Sokka barely made it into the room before she shut the door.

“Congrats on the Sparky Junior,” she said, poking Zuko’s stomach far more gently than she usually would.

“You mean…” Sokka asked. Zuko was still too shocked to speak.

“Yeah. It’s still tiny, but I can feel it.”

“Can you…?” Sokka asked, looking at Zuko.

Zuko shook his head, hand on his stomach. “I had no idea.”

“Are you sure, Toph? If this is a prank-“

“Honest!” She put her hands up. “I’m sure of it. There’s a baby wiggling around in there.”

Zuko had thought  _ maybe _ , after missing his last period, but he couldn’t be sure it wasn’t wishful thinking, and he’d have hated to get Sokka’s hopes up over nothing. They’d had a false alarm before, with a period that was just oddly late. He’d carefully regulated his own hopes, too, although he had daydreamed a few times about what it’d feel like to receive congratulations on the pregnancy from the people he loved. Uncle Iroh and Aang and Katara and Toph. He hadn’t been able to stop himself.

Zuko felt off-balance for a moment with the reality of being pregnant, though, before Sokka dragged him into a quick, hard, messy kiss.

“We’re gonna be dads,” Sokka said, in between the sloppy kisses he was trailing down Zuko’s cheek.

“We’re gonna be dads,” Zuko repeated, and it still didn’t sound real. “We’re going to have a  _ baby _ .”

“Should I leave you two alone to be gross?” Toph asked.

“How big is it? Is it a boy or a girl? I mean, I know we laugh in the face of gender, but I wanna start coming up with a list of names,” Sokka said. “Ooh, if it’s a girl I was thinking something with a K, like Kida or Kalea - oh, wait, we know a Kalea - or Kanda, or Kya after my mom? What about for a boy?”

The biggest news they’d ever receive as a couple, and Sokka reacted by rambling. It was so incredibly Sokka-like that Zuko couldn’t help but fall slightly more in love with his husband for it.

Drawn back into the moment, Zuko pointed out, “We have months to decide.”

“Well we can’t just keep saying  _ it _ !”

“Call it ‘junior,’ for now,” Toph suggested.

“Oh, hey, Toph,” Zuko said, as something occurred to him. “Don’t tell anyone else, okay?”

“I’m just happy to be the first to know.”

“You’ve earned it,” Sokka insisted. “Seriously, Toph, we love you so much.”

“One minute as a dad and he’s already mushy,” Toph said. She couldn’t fool them, though, nor could she keep all hints of a smile off her face.

\---

A candle was burning down to when Zuko would no longer be able to work, and there was so much to get done before then.

The first thing they did was invite all their friends to the Fire Nation to tell them the good news, and it went pretty much the way Zuko had imagined it.

Katara was excited, of course, but not half as excited as Aang, who suggested all sorts of names for Sokka’s list (which was growing long and inspired mixed feelings in Zuko, with many of the names being… inappropriate for their child). Aang had to air scooter around for a bit to get his excitement out. 

Watching him tell Appa and Momo was interesting, too, especially when Sokka joined him in very seriously explaining to them that Zuko needed rest and relaxation right now, so they were not to frighten Zuko or otherwise put him at risk.

“I’m not delicate,” Zuko said to Katara, standing off to the side with his arms crossed. He wasn’t actually that annoyed, though, strangely.

“Sokka’s just overprotective,” Katara said.

That much was true, although Katara of all people had no room to call Sokka out on it. 

“Speaking of which, he mentioned that it might be good for you to have a healer you can trust,” Katara continued. “How do you feel about it?”

“You mean you,” Zuko said.

“I am a pretty good healer.” She smiled warmly at him. “And I’d be happy to help.”

Zuko had actually thought a lot about it, and considering how physically demanding this process would be, it would be nice to have someone with extraordinary healing abilities who he trusted as much as he trusted Katara.

Katara had been by his side for some of the most difficult moments of his life so far. He’d like her there for this one, too.

“I would be honored to have you as a midwife,” Zuko said. He added, “Aunt Katara.”

Her smile was blinding.

Many of the other items on his to-do list were not accomplished nearly as easily as sharing the news with his friends and finding fantastic medical care, though, and despite the comfort of Toph’s frequent updates on the baby’s development, Zuko was so relieved when his uncle finally arrived.

“Uncle,” he said, burying his face in Uncle’s shoulder.

“My beloved nephew,” Uncle said. “I am so happy for you.”

They pulled apart, and Sokka slid his arm around Zuko’s waist. “We’re so glad to have you here. There’s so much to do.”

Sokka immediately launched into an explanation of all that had to be done around the palace, and Zuko rolled his eyes.

“Uncle, would you like some tea?” Zuko interrupted his husband to ask.

Uncle laughed. “I would love some.”

“That’s not on the schedule,” Sokka protested. Zuko ignored him. Just to be clear that he wasn’t mad, though, he gave Sokka a kiss on the cheek.

With a few grumbles, Sokka took out the schedule and began making alterations.

\---

As the due date approached, Zuko handed more and more of his Firelord duties off to Uncle, not because Zuko was incapable of doing his job but because he didn’t quite feel comfortable in public once it started to become obvious to observers that he was actually pregnant. Sokka had insisted that the royal tailors make him a new wardrobe, one that was masculine and hid the baby bump as long as possible, but Zuko still felt like people could tell, and it made his dysphoria worse.

Plus, he’d get nauseous at random times.

Sokka rubbed small, soothing circles into Zuko’s back as Zuko crouched next to a vase - it had been the closest available thing, when the nausea hit him out of nowhere - with a bitter taste in his mouth.

Vomiting in a hallway. How incredibly dignified for a Firelord.

Sokka flagged down a servant. “Could you take a message to the Minister of Agriculture?” Who Zuko was supposed to be meeting with.

Zuko groaned as his stomach flipped again.

“Of course,” she said. What was her name again? Oh yeah, Akemi.

“Do you want to cancel the meeting?” Sokka asked Zuko.

He hesitated. He hated to cancel last-minute - it was so unprofessional - but he couldn’t imagine actually walking to the Minister’s office, or walking back to his chambers after. His feet hurt and all he wanted to do was lie down on his soft, cool blankets.

“Yeah,” Zuko said, finally. “Tell him to set up an appointment with General Iroh, and that the Firelord sends his apologies.”

Akemi nodded and hurried off to deliver the message. Sokka helped him get to his feet and make his way down the hall. Zuko was almost at the point where he’d have to waddle.

“We need to get someone to bring Uncle up to speed on the Minister’s suggestions,” Zuko said. “And let him know-”

Zuko stopped, taking deep breaths to make the nausea abate. He wished he’d thought to bring...

Sokka offered him the vase.

After a second, though, the nausea passed without incident. Zuko pushed the vase away and kept walking. “I’m okay. As I was saying-”

“I’ll talk to your uncle myself, okay? I’ve been taking notes, I’m totally prepared to help him take over,” Sokka assured him.

“That’s rather treasonous talk, there,” Zuko teased.

Sokka shrugged. “Yeah, but I have a feeling I’ll get pardoned. I have an in with the Firelord.”

Zuko snorted. They stopped in front of their chambers. The guards opened the door, and Zuko led the way inside. Sokka set the vase on the table.

Sokka hesitated. “Zuko, I know your job is really important to you, and I admire your dedication to it, but maybe it’s time to go on leave.”

“Maybe,” Zuko allowed, lying down on the bed.

“I’m gonna go take care of this,” Sokka said, jerking his thumb at the vase, and Zuko was glad that he wasn’t pushing the issue. “Do you want me to grab anything?”

“Fire flakes?” Zuko had been craving them a lot recently. And craving very specific foods in general. “And some water?”

“Okay.” Sokka shot him a small smile and grabbed the vase. “I’ll be right back.”

Zuko closed his eyes and tracked Sokka’s motion by his footsteps, and then by the sound of the door swinging shut. Then the room fell blessedly silent.

Going on leave didn’t mean that Zuko was weak, and he’d spent eight years fixing the damage his ancestors had wrought with almost no vacations. Besides, the healthier Zuko was, the greater the chances that the baby would be healthy, too.

At the end of the day, his baby’s health was the most important factor.

A week later they arrived at Ember Island.

The salty breeze felt cool on Zuko’s skin, and already Sokka seemed more relaxed. He greeted Katara with a big hug.

“Hi, Zuko,” Katara said, when Sokka had finally let her go. “How are you feeling?”

Zuko shrugged. “Everything hurts, but at least I’m almost there.”

“Only a few more weeks now,” Sokka said. “Oh! And you can feel the baby kicking, sometimes.”

“Are they kicking right now?” Katara asked Zuko.

He nodded. It was kind of a weird feeling, having something shift inside his abdomen, but it wasn’t foreign anymore.

“May I?” Katara asked, raising her hand.

“Sure.”

Katara placed her hand on his stomach.

For a moment, the baby was still. Then came a jab. Katara gasped. Zuko huffed.

“This kid is gonna be so high-energy,” he complained. Usually Sokka was the complainer in their relationship, but the past few months he’d graciously ceded the role over to Zuko, who fulfilled it effortlessly. He always felt achy or irritated or something, lately.

“Have you guys settled on a name?” Katara drew her hand back, helping Sokka with their bags.

“We’re still trying to decide,” Sokka told her.

Understatement. Sokka had probably used an entire tree by now with all the paper he’d jotted down name ideas on. Half of them were not even real, human names.

“If it’s a boy, we’re gonna name him Iroh,” Zuko said, because after much cajoling Sokka had agreed to that, at least. The real trick wasn’t convincing Sokka a name was good but rather convincing him it was the  _ best _ , and they should commit to it.

“And for a girl?” Katara asked.

They followed her into the blessedly cool shade of the house, and Zuko made a beeline for the couch. He wanted off his feet.

“Uh…” Sokka’s list there had been narrowed down to three pages, after hours of work, but he couldn’t be persuaded to cut any of the remaining names. “Still workin on it.”

Zuko managed to lower himself awkwardly onto the couch. “I like Kanda, Zara, or Izumi, but your brother can be indecisive.”

Katara snorted. “Tell me about it. Have you heard about him buying that green earth kingdom bag? He stood there and debated it for fifteen minutes, and he wouldn’t shut up about it for the rest of the day.”

“That sounds like Sokka.” It was part of why Zuko preferred to take his husband shopping when they had time, even though they had a royal tailor. Plus it gave Zuko a chance to be around his citizens.

“Hey! I just wanna make sure that we’re picking the best name for our baby,” Sokka argued. “We’ll have to call her this every day for the rest of her life, we should like how it sounds.”

Zuko hummed. “You know, I haven’t heard or said my birth name in years.”

“Okay, unless our kid is trans, in which case we will obviously be totally supportive,” Sokka conceded.

“Thank you.” In all honesty, though, Zuko was a fan of people being allowed to change their names for any reason. If they chose a bad name, couldn’t they let their kid pick something that fit better?

“For the record, of the three, I like Kanda,” Katara said. “But maybe that’s just because it’s a Water Tribe name.”

“But she’d be Zuko’s heir. She should have a Fire Nation name,” Sokka argued.

Zuko rolled his eyes. “I’m sure people would get over it.” They’d managed to get over the fact that their Firelord’s husband was decidedly Water Tribe, and had refused Fire Nation citizenship, as well as keeping his Water Tribe-style hair and wardrobe and customs. Sokka had rightfully refused to sacrifice any of his culture for their relationship, despite the comments he received from old advisors who were soon replaced.

No argument could persuade Sokka to choose a name, though, not in the sun-filled days that led up to the due date. They spent their mornings on the beach, with the ocean lapping at their toes, as Sokka built sandcastle after terrible sandcastle. Admittedly, it felt nice to be able to relax.

Their afternoons were spent napping, or at least Zuko spent them napping. He usually woke up with Sokka reading and drafting proposals at the desk in the corner, or sometimes he’d be doodling ideas for inventions. Sokka would smile at him and explain his ideas to Zuko - it helped him to talk through the concepts, to get them straightened out and see the wrinkles more easily - and Zuko would enjoy the sound of his husband’s voice and the way he lit up when talking passionately about something. Sokka would talk with his hands, eyes bright, and Zuko just let the affection wash over him.

Anytime Zuko brought up the baby names, though, no progress was made. Crossed-out names were only added back onto the list again.

The debate didn’t end until the baby was actually born, late at night, with the moon shining in the window and the candles flaring with every push Zuko had to give, before receding again.

“Say hello to your baby girl,” Katara said, voice quiet, cradling a small mushy pink thing in her arms.

Katara used a blob of water to rinse the baby off, running it along the baby like a sponge, collecting leftovers bits of placenta. Then she swaddled the baby in a clean purple blanket.

Sokka’s hand was loose in Zuko’s, his gaze fixed on their daughter. “Oh,” he said softly.

Zuko was exhausted and sweaty and sore, but he concurred. There was something unreal about that pale, round little face with its squishy cheeks and the big, brown eyes that blinked at them from it. Short, wispy black hair was plastered to her head.

He’d seen babies before, and he’d thought he’d known what this would feel like, but seeing his own daughter for the first time was so much more. The wave of affection that came over him was overwhelming. His eyes watered.

Sokka pulled his hand free of Zuko’s and took their daughter from Katara, so gently and carefully, as if afraid he’d hurt her.

“Hi,” Sokka said, carrying her over to Zuko. “We’re your dads, and we’re so happy to meet you.”

The older Zuko got, the less he understood his father, and this baby presented another impassable chasm between them: Zuko could never, ever hurt her.

He understood Iroh and Hakoda a little more, though.

“You’re  _ wonderful _ ,” Zuko whispered, his voice a little hoarse from yelling. And breathing flame.

Her eyes were bright and intelligent, and he knew it was silly - she was a  _ newborn _ , as in  _ less than five minutes ago, she was born _ \- but he felt as if she understood.

Zuko was sure his expression was ridiculously fond, but. He loved her already.

Sokka’s eyes met Zuko’s. “Do you wanna hold her?”

Zuko nodded, and the purple blanket was soft against his skin, Sokka’s hand warm where it brushed his. The baby was lighter than he’d thought she would be, but she smelled… clean. Thanks, Katara. He kissed her forehead.

“Hello,” Zuko said, and she blinked those dark eyes at him again. “Just wait, I’m going to love you so much. Every day of the rest of my life.”

She yawned, her tiny pink tongue curling.

“That’s… she’s a tiny person,” Sokka said reverently, poking her cheek gently. “It feels stupid, but I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Yeah,” Zuko agreed.

“She’s a  _ person _ , with a mind and a personality and everything, and we made her.”

Zuko flashed back to that conversation - two years ago, now - that they’d had on their wedding night, about the satisfaction to be found in creation, and cracked a smile. “Well, I did most of the making.”

Sokka laughed, and the baby looked startled for a moment, eyes going wide and mouth open in an  _ o _ . Then she giggled. The sound broke the awed hush that had fallen over them.

This was Zuko’s  _ family _ . He had a husband, and a daughter, and they were happy.

“What are you gonna call her?” Katara asked, quiet, as if hesitant to interrupt, but she was part of this moment, too, and part of Zuko’s family.

“Izumi,” Sokka said, sure as anything. “I think her name should be Izumi.”

Zuko smiled at the two of them. “Hello, Izumi.”


End file.
